From the Editor: Most Improved Attitude

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I am the poster girl for pre-race jitters. A few years ago I did an early-morning beginner cycling race in Central Park. I was just starting out in endurance sports and was super- nervous about my bike handling skills given that I didn’t have any. How would I survive this race? How bad would the road rash be? These were the thoughts that consumed me as I rode from my apartment to the park. 

When the gates along the trail were locked due to construction I hit the roof. ARGH! My much calmer, much-more-of-a-morning-person boyfriend just rode quietly behind me while I cursed and swore and stopped to pick chunks of glass out of my tires along Broadway. Finally he’d had enough after I yelled (for the third time) about not wanting to do this stupid race anyway saying “OK then, let’s just turn around and go home.” Ashamed, I went bright red and meekly said “No, I want to do this.” I survived the race accident-free and thought it was great fun—once I finished. Afterward, as I called my mother to tell her how great it was, he chimed in to add that while I hadn’t won, I certainly deserved the most improved attitude award.

Jitters shmitters. I’m unbearable to be around pre-race. I believe it’s because I absorb the energy of those around me and so everyone’s nervous energy becomes my nervous energy. Put me at a swim start and I’m about to explode I’ve sucked in so much the race field’s energy/anxiety. For that reason I think that racing is taking its toll on me. Friends always tell me to calm down, that nothing is at stake so why worry? But I can’t help it. Make a night person wake up early to deal with crippling anxiety and this is what you get. That’s why I asked Christopher Bergland, endurance athlete and author of The Athlete’s Way: Sweat and Biology of Bliss to write a science-focused article for our Adrenaline issue to help me and our readers understand a bit more about how adrenaline works for and against us. I also wanted to take a closer look at the folks who naturally feed off that rush, the subjects of our other features this month: the rock climbers and the downhill mountain bikers. I hope that any of you with race anxiety like mine, who aspire to feed off adrenaline rather than having it eat you alive will find these stories helpful and inspiring.

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